I sat in the waiting room of my youngest son’s Pediatrician earlier this week as I have done many times before with him and his oldest brother.  I looked around the waiting room surrounded by young mothers and a few fathers with their tiny babies and rambunctious toddlers.  Let me just tell you.  I was feeling my age.  I thought to myself…”you’re probably old enough to be a mother to some of the parents you are looking at.”  My motherhood journey had started in the early 90’s, and here I am in 2021 still rocking on.  Of course, my babies are now taller than me.  I frequently assure them that I can still take em’ out if need be.  I felt somewhat out of place sitting there.  I was no longer trying to soothe a baby or wrestle a toddler.  I had a somewhat moody teenager sitting next to me.  He had already told me he was getting too old to be in there with all the babies.  How well I knew.  Somewhere along the way, I had blinked, and now I had one son grown, and my youngest was on the fast track to being grown.

The parents that surrounded me in the waiting room that day seemed so foreign to me.  Most of the mothers I saw were young and had tattoos on their arms and legs.  I was sitting there with not the first one.  Must be a generational thing.  I thought.  For one thing, I don’t remember having the extra money at their age for expensive colorful high definition tattoos.  Secondly, tattoos were not that popular when I was younger.  Somewhere along the way, mothers have changed.  Maybe in their appearance, but I felt confident not the love and bonding that takes place between any good mother and her precious child.  A young mother sitting beside me with her mask on was trying to soothe her two month old baby.  A mother across the room was trying to hold her toddler son in check.  Those toddlers can be squirrely at times.  Another mother surrounded with four well behaved children was trying to fill out all the paperwork that is required these days.  There I sat with my very chill 15 year old son.  I felt like I had achieved an optimal level as a mother.  I remember those days.  Attempting to console and pacify my little babies.  Later on when they reached those very active toddler years, I remember chasing them around the examination rooms.  Trying to make them behave while waiting on the doctor to come in. My oldest son would accept his shots like a stoic martyr, and my youngest would fight like a wild banshee, and scream bloody murder.   Needless to say, I was a nervous wreck by the time we left.  The joys of motherhood.  You know what?  I’d all do it all over again. 

I was almost 23 years old when I had my first son.  I had absolutely no idea what to expect pregnancy wise or motherhood wise.  It’s one of those things.  You shut your eyes and dive right in.  Something along the lines of being tried by fire.  Motherhood is a sink or swim situation.  Some days you swim like you’re in the Olympics.  Other days you’re on autopilot doing the backstroke.  Then, there are days you are treading water.  Trying to hold it all together.  Sinking is not an option.  You have little human beasts (did I say that?!  I meant beings.) depending on you.  Are you tired?  Beyond tired?  Guess what?  You keep going.  You find an inner strength you never knew you had.  My first pregnancy catapulted me into motherhood with an emergency cesarean after 15 hours of labor.  I was in the hospital for a week.  I thought my nurse had lost her mind when she came into my room the following morning telling me I needed to get up, and walk around.  My response was..”are you aware I just had a cesarean?”  She responded “yes honey, now get up and walk around.”  No rest for the weary has been my Mama mantra ever since.

Almost twelve years later I had my second son.  By then, I had come close to having a hysterectomy, dealt with fertility issues, and had experienced a miscarriage.  His birth was supposed to be by a planned cesarean, but our “little man” decided to come early.  I was awake for his birth as opposed to his brother’s birth.  I remember crying when they placed him by my head so I could see him for the first time.  I don’t think I truly believed I was having another baby until I laid eyes on him.  He was such a tiny fella compared to his brother.  My oldest son weighed almost 9 lbs at birth, and here my second son didn’t even weigh 4 ½ lbs.  How in the world would I care for such a small baby?  I quickly learned as I had with my first child.   All babies need, regardless of size, is lots of  love, care, and food.  Those are the most important factors in raising happy babies.  Here’s an extra tidbit…let them know from the get go that they will never be too old for a hug from their Mama.  Love never fails.  

One of the sweetest visions you will ever lay your eyes on is that of a sleeping baby, toddler, or small child. I remember rocking my babies singing every song I ever knew to get them to sleep.  Many times, I rocked myself to sleep.   I laugh at the image of a sleeping toddler.  My oldest would fight a nap every time.  I remember laying down with him. Me needing a nap just as much as he did, if not more.  He would toss and turn.  Wanting to get out of the bed.  I was adamant.  He needed a nap, and I needed a nap, and also  some moments of peace.  In the end, we would both fall asleep.  I would wake up before him, and there he would lay.  The picture of peaceful serenity.  Of course, in all reality, it was the calm before the toddler Tasmanian devil woke up. 

I have always said that you need a healthy sense of humor to get through this life.  So…here I’ve been raising two boys for the last 27 years.  I grew up with a sister and two female cousins.  My poor grandfather had been outnumbered by all of us females growing up. Like any good man, he took it in stride.  He did a good job in preparing me for my life raising boys.   I grew up shooting hoops, riding my bicycle, building forts, playing softball and kickball, mowing the grass, learning to drive a truck,  and fishing.  I was never a girly girl so being a “boy” mom was fine by me.  To be surrounded by good looking men folks the rest of my life is no bad thing.  Although, they can be aggravating at times.  For the most part, keep them fed, and all will be well.

 As mothers, we all go through trials that can break our spirit if we let them. Days when we could easily stay in bed.  Nights that you think will never end with babies that are sick or refusing to stay in bed.  It’s during those tough times that you draw on your inner strength, put your big girl panties on, and push through.  Those are the years you come into your own.  Over time, the uncertain woman that you used to be will blossom into a woman that can slay dragons, if need be. Believe me, there will be many “dragons” along the way.  Both of my sons have been the truest of blessings to me and my husband.  Children give you focus like nothing else in this world.  My husband frequently  jokes that we’ll be using walkers at our youngest son’s graduation.   I’ve got news for him…I will be moonwalking across the graduation stage when our youngest graduates!  Common core curriculum about killed me!  It will be time for one heck of a road trip! 

This is and will alway be The Good Stuff. 

All the best,

Stella Elaine

Trace Adkins – You’re Gonna Miss This